its always the strangest sensation when a song can make you feel the passage of time like its some sort of whirlpool

i’ve been acting so god damn erratically recently, it scares me sometimes to feel like i have no control over what im doing with my life 

it finally occurred to me how strange the circumstances of my life are when i was sitting on my friends couch, half listening to the words of my old best friend speaking about all these experiences she was having/had that i had no part in 

i feel like the bad choice i made the other night was purely out of nostalgia, searching for some re-do button of the past year 

in september when i met joe i thought he was going to be the catalyst of the best year ever, its weird cause i dont think im that ignorant of a person i just have a lot of a hope when new years start…. i just desperately wanted to revel in someone and have things fall into place.

but that relationship ended up being the catalyst for a lot of friendships ending

every morning i wake up and look to my wall and admire my fleet foxes poster and my window sill and all the other surroundings in my room, i have this little sticker on my mirror of a bee that clare gave to me in the 10th grade.. it was stuck to her bike. i always think about how we used to ride around town really late on school nights singing youth lagoon songs whenever we were both feeling really angsty, and how when i cried to her about something she always cried with me, our friendship delivered a lot of different things i never got out of nicole and holly at the time and i think i neglected them because she mirrored a lot of the things i was feeling at that time 

i remember sometimes we used to lay on her kitchen floor eating toast and nutella and wonder where we were going to go to college 

i forget sometimes about how much this time i spent with her meant to me, she was my best friend. she really was. 

the loss of friends is never something ive dealt with well, but this one along with others this year really took a toll on me this year 

what i did this week may be something i never forgive myself for. 

pinenippple:

I admit we knew we’d get in trouble. That part’s true. We knew people would be worried, and we still ran away, anyway. But something also happened, which we didn’t do on purpose. When we first met each other, something happened to us.
- Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

pinenippple:

I admit we knew we’d get in trouble. That part’s true. We knew people would be worried, and we still ran away, anyway. But something also happened, which we didn’t do on purpose. When we first met each other, something happened to us.

- Moonrise Kingdom (2012)